A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

flavin's head

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

Nah

what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

What is the the mistake..... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

What's a joke? Funny

Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

Black people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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