whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

John Cena for president

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

a. why? b. because

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

The Big Band Theory

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

I? Everett

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

Politics

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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