If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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U mad?

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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