Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

thumb_up thumb_down -18

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hashtags suck balls

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops