"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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