I once did something.

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops