Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Fart

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops