How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Want to hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops