It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

I am dyslexic

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

Smelly Indians.

i am and me is i

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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