Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

Knock Knock Come in.

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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