Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops