How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

Buzi vagy!

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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