What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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j

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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69

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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