Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops