How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who has no penis Religious Believers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops