If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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