why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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