- Anti Joke

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

H o m o comes out as homo

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

Q. who's george porchy?

sure!

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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