A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a blond girl walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops