Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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I dont have a girlfriend

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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