What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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whats my name? Matt

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops