Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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denisssssssssssssss

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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