Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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autsim

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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