Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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