Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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