There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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CAS

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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