A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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