Jake. Walsh.

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

Life

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2vFEq0M&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7nKXEePj87o/T5dBnSfhaBI/AAAAAAAAAHw/RNSE68GzbjU/s1600/Harry%252BStyles%252Bboy%252Bband%252BOne%252BDirection%252Barrives%252B1Tg3l2FYklYl.jpg&w=396&h=594&ei=2Y7HT6jnL4e69QSK2oW5Dw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=244&vpy=12&dur=543&hovh=160&hovw=106&tx=72&ty=122&sig=110416686013590693091&page=18&tbnh=160&tbnw=106&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:231,i:105

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

emma: mat has a quick reaction time

Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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