My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops