Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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