It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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