What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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