2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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