whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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Jews

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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The WPGA tour

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops