What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops