Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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69- by Adam Chebali

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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