A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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whats black and large -me

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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womens rights

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops