How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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