An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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24

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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The WPGA tour

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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