Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Your face

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops