The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

UP

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cliterus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops