Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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girls basketball

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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