If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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I'm hungry.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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