CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops