What stops a train? A missile

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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