Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's 9+10? 19, not 21

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Lil Wayne's rapping career

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops