How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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