a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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