What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

This is Heading 1

Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......