two cannables walk in to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cool Brian

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops