What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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ugh good riddance

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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