An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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