What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

thumb_up thumb_down -3

have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The EPA.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops