What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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trumpy trumpy trump

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops