a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rick Santorum 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +9

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Help I'm being raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops